We are all Ray Rice, Andrian Peterson. 3 steps to take to not go there.

Unless you’ve been under a rock lately, the issue of domestic abuse and child abuse have been forced to the front of everyone’s collective awareness by two ongoing and separate cases involving athletes from America’s favorite sport to watch: Football.

CREDIT: #COVERGIRLCOTT
CREDIT: #COVERGIRLCOTT

Ray Rice, formerly of the Baltimore Ravens, knocked out a woman with a blow to the head. Forget who she was or became.

He assaulted a woman who made him angry and knocked her out. Andrian Peterson switched his kid. Excessively. Whatever you think of switching. Or spanking. And though the 2 issues should be kept separate, they are now deeply intertwined in our social narrative. The story we like to tell about ourselves. How we are a moral society. How we treat each other with respect and dignity.

What we aren’t willing to admit is that the truth is that we all could be Ray Rice or Adrian Peterson.

NO, you scream in your most self-righteous indignation. There is no way I’d ever do that! But the reality is that you could.

Given the right situation and the right stressors, you could. Admission of that reality is the first step in protecting yourself.

A number of years ago, several high profile Christian Tele-evangelists pretty much permanently changed public perception of TV preachers with their equally high-profile falls. What I remember most about one particular gentleman was the moral outrage he exhibited towards the first guy to fall. He was public in his rebuke. And privately, he was on an equally morally ambivalent road. Weeks later, he himself was now the object of the same scorn.

Culture’s favorite misappropriation of Christian scriptures these days are some of the words of Jesus. “Judge not lest you be judged.” Somehow, that non-judgmental attitude fails when it comes to seeing who can take the higher ground in these cases.

But its hypocrisy. The scripture goes on to say “For by the same measure you will be judged.” Hum… As my friend pastor Devon Davoux tells me “When you put your hands on a woman, it goes from ‘some shared responsibility in this’ to ‘you are 100% wrong.” There is a line you can not cross. Walk away. Get out. Take a walk. But never, ever hit a woman.

Be honest though. If the situation were totally wrong, you could.

So don’t let the situation ever get totally wrong. Ever. Set your limits. And get off your moral high horse. What these guys did was wrong. But before we tar and feather them and throw them away as worthless human wretches, let’s take a look in the mirror and say “but by the grace of God go I.”

Three steps to make sure you never became become a perpetrator of domestic violence.

1. Decide beforehand what you will do when…

Sounds simple doesn’t it. It is amazing how many people react “in the moment.” What will you do when someone spits in your face? What will you do…. Word out 15 difference scenarios and make your decisions beforehand.

2. Put the firm image of your mom or your daughter in your head.

Today, imagine your mom came to you, beat up. Take a mental snapshot. Then image your daughter. If you don’t have one, just pretend. In your mind, picture the black eye. Picture the emotional hurt. Keep that image close. Then imagine if someone did that to your wife. Someone else. I would be so angry and so hurt if someone touched my mom or my daughter or my wife.

3.Decide to be disrespected.

This may seem trivial, but decide today that you will be disrespected. You will feel cheated on, you will feel less than a man. Decide today that respect is never earned through violence.   I know I’m wading in on a topic much more vast and deep that the issues I’ve touched. If you are a victim, I’m sorry. If you are a perpetrator, get counseling. Leave the situation. Make good decisions. But let’s not dehumanize Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson. They are just like where we might have been, or could be, but never want to be.

36 thoughts on “We are all Ray Rice, Andrian Peterson. 3 steps to take to not go there.”

  1. i have really enjoyed reading your posts. Not long winded, but to the point, and challenging. Thanks!

  2. Hey very nice web site!! Guy .. Beautiful .. Amazing ..
    I’ll bookmark your blog and take the feeds additionally?I am happy to
    find a lot of helpful information here within the put up,
    we need work out extra strategies on this regard,
    thank you for sharing.

    Also visit my web page … comparison shopping; Arnoldo,

  3. “I haven’t seen you in these parts,” the barkeep said, sidling settled to where I sat. “Repute’s Bao.” He stated it exuberantly, as if solemn word of honour of his exploits were shared aside settlers about many a verve in Aeternum.

    He waved to a wooden keg upset us, and I returned his gesture with a nod. He filled a eyeglasses and slid it to me across the stained red wood of the bar in the vanguard continuing.

    “As a betting houseman, I’d be willing to wager a adequate piece of invent you’re in Ebonscale Reach in search more than the drink and sights,” he said, eyes glancing from the sword sheathed on my hip to the bend slung across my back.

    https://www.google.com.bh/url?q=https://renewworld.ru/otlichie-new-world-versii-deluxe-i-standart-edition/

  4. First of all I would like to say wonderful blog!
    I had a quick question that I’d like to ask if you do not mind.
    I was curious to find out how you center yourself and clear your mind
    before writing. I’ve had a difficult time clearing my mind in getting
    my thoughts out. I truly do take pleasure in writing but it just seems like the first 10 to
    15 minutes tend to be lost just trying to figure out
    how to begin. Any ideas or tips? Thank you!

    Have a look at my homepage; microsoft certification tests (Bobbie)

  5. First of all I would like to say awesome blog!
    I had a quick question in which I’d like to ask if you don’t mind.
    I was curious to find out how you center yourself and clear your thoughts before writing.
    I have had trouble clearing my mind in getting my ideas out
    there. I do take pleasure in writing however it just seems
    like the first 10 to 15 minutes are generally
    lost just trying to figure out how to begin. Any ideas or tips?
    Thanks!

    Feel free to visit my web page help pass driving exam; Kristie,

  6. Hi my loved one! I wish to say that this post is awesome, great written and
    include almost all significant infos. I would like to see extra
    posts like this.

    Visit my website; cna certification exam (Kendra)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.