Set Aside or Set Apart
“Set apart Paul and Barnabas for the ministry I have called them to” There are times in life when opportunities dry up. My social media feed is full of influencers doing important stuff that I wish I could be part of. Honestly, I can be jealous. The stage isn’t mine, the voice isn’t mine, and […]
Money can solve most of life’s problems. Solving the remaining ones makes you truly rich.
There was a time, not too long ago, when the credit card bills were way higher than the savings account. Those with money or who have never struggled with debt don’t often have grace with those who do. They’ll begin with “just…” and give you some wonderful financial tip, like how you should have invested […]
The Unexpected Solution to Anxiety
I was having panic attacks a while back. They started when my daughter and I were involved in a car crash. It was the closest I have come to death in some time. The fact that my daughter was with me made it worse. The first panic attack came as I was driving through the […]
Trajectories and in course corrections
I know some people who were slightly off in their 20ies. It wasn’t enough to turn them completely sideways, but there were little issues. Today, 30 years alter, those “off” things have them so far off course from where they want to be in life that course correction is going to require a major life […]
Ja Morant- Cry for Help or Entitled Celebrity?
I’m a basketball fan. As a kid, I knew all the players in the NBA, many of the teams in college, and some of the guys playing internationally. Over time, my obsession dissipated with life and responsibilities. Until my now 13 year old developed an interest. I’ve watched with deep sadness as the story of […]
11 things to do before you turn 40
This blog began with 40 life lessons I learned before I turned 40. Almost 10 years into this process, and I still haven’t stopped learning stuff I should have known. Where that “should” comes from, I don’t know. Recently a friend posted “What should I make sure I’ve done before I turn 40.” Here’s my […]
Honest reflections on Unhealthy relationships: Affirm me when I need to affirm myself.
If a person in my life has a constant need for affirmation, it may be that they have never learned to think through what they are asking for. Can you help me with my homework? Its the dreaded dad question. Probably not because i haven’t done algebra since 10th grade. Probably not because I don’t […]
Honest reflections on Unhealthy Relationships part 2: complaints
We can often find outselves hiding our needs in a complaint. We haven’t had a date in a week. You never listen to my ideas. You never take initiative. All these can easily be reframed as a simple request to have your needs legitemately met. Could we go out on a date tonight? Can we […]
Honest reflections on unhealthy relationships
We all have them. Unhealthy patterns in otherwise healthy relationships. I believe in counseling. So I practice what i preach and talk to my therapist often. And sometimes I get real gold. Typical me, I want to share it. So here’s today’s therapy gold. If you push me away, that’s where I’m at. Sometimes people […]
Friends, Money and Social Class
How to be friends with people from different social classes. I spent a number of years in Africa. The richness of my time there is in the relationships I formed. But one tension was always money. Who had it, who didn’t, and how it was leveraged. In my context in the US, I am thoroughly […]